


Awkward

by afteriwake



Series: Stuff Of Improbable Legends [85]
Category: Farscape, Murder in Suburbia (TV)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Awkwardness, Dogs, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Kate Has a Crush on John, Kate Knows, Male-Female Friendship, One Sided Kate "Ash" Ashurst/John Crichton, One-Sided Attraction, Reluctant Kate, Roleplay Logs, Secret Crush, Unmentioned Topics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 17:03:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7649215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate and Crichton are relaxing in his apartment after the summer session at Blakeney Academy ends, and unbeknownst to him it's a bit awkward for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awkward

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sideofrawr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sideofrawr/gifts).



> So I had a thing I saw on Tumblr from **ephemeraltea** that I had loved that went " _Ok but which part of ur otp unironically calls themselves “a fucking delight” and which one immediately snorts_ " that I desperately wanted to use for a Kate & Crichton fic for **sideofrawr** with a totally different plot, but when I started writing it last night this is what came out. I am sorry not sorry for the angst?

It was awkward, being around him these days. After hearing his thoughts the day she'd gotten shot, and then knowing he’d gone to the singles night afterward at Verdant… She wanted to strangle Emily for telling him she’d heard his thoughts but to be honest, with her being shot and all and _not_ having told her partner about the invulnerability wish, maybe she deserved it. But it didn’t make her life any easier, she’d grant that.

But she missed being around Crichton. Not that they’d had as much time anyway, with him teaching at the Academy for the summer session. It seemed to be a good fit for him, and she was glad for that. He needed something that was a good fit, better than being a detective here was for her. But he had a bit of freedom until the regular school year started in September and she felt it was best to celebrate that, and so she was over with the good beer and trying to ignore any unpleasant awkwardness. Admittedly, alcohol helped.

“So you really like teaching?” she asked before taking a sip of the beer and leaning into the corner of the sofa, Scribbs’s head in her lap. She was scratching the dog behind her ears with her other hand, enjoying the feel of the sleeping puppy next to her.

He nodded. “You know, I wasn’t sure I’d be good at it but the kids are great and I think I have a knack for it,” he said with a grin. He looked over at her, tilting his head slightly. “Are you still seriously considering leaving the NOPD?”

She took a long sip of her beer and then lapsed into silence. “I really don’t fit in there,” she said quietly when she spoke. “I’m just so used to a whole different way of doing things, and I don’t like the rampant misogyny and elitism and the blatant anti-British attitude I have to deal with all the time. Aside from Emily, I have no real friends in the department, and I know everyone thinks I’m a stuck up bitch, even though I’m not.”

“You’re just a perfectionist,” he said. “Most people can take that the wrong way,” he said.

“If they got to know me they’d learn there’s a whole new side of me,” she said, waving her hands slightly. “I’m a fucking delight!” Crichton snorted and she glared. “Well, I am.”

“Oh, I absolutely think you are,” he said, chuckling softly. “I wouldn’t want to spend time with you if you weren’t.” He reached over and began petting Scribbs. “We haven’t done much of that lately.”

“Well, you’ve been busy,” she said, looking away. “I mean, even if you aren’t doing a million tests and papers, you still had five classes a week until one in the afternoon and you had to come up with lesson plans. It’s hard work being a teacher.”

“Yeah,” he said. He stayed quiet for a few moments and then pulled his hand away. He hoped he didn’t bring up the thought sharing or anything like that. She didn’t want to talk about how she had been all conflicted knowing he thought she was beautiful, and then knowing he went to the singles night just a few scant days later. It had made her feel as though she wasn’t good enough, even though she knew, logically, that probably wasn’t the reason for it at all. It still bloody well _hurt_ , especially because, if she was going to be honest with herself, remnants of the dreams from February still haunted her nights at times. She wasn’t sure, now that she knew Crichton better, if that made them even worse, because she bloody well _could_ imagine them having that kind of life together, and wanting it, but not wanting to ruin their friendship at the same time.

She cared for him. She did. And she bloody hated this situation she found herself in that she wanted more with him and yet knew he probably wasn’t ready, and even if he thought she was beautiful, it didn’t mean he fancied her, not the way she fancied him. It was a clusterfuck of a situation, it was. Why couldn’t it be simple? Maybe it was just her luck. She’d never had good luck with men at home. Why should it be any different here?

“You know Scribbs is going to wake up if we stop petting her,” Ash commenting, turning her gaze to the puppy, trying to find a safe topic of conversation.

“Well, then I guess if she wakes up we’ll just have to take her on a walk,” he said, and she risked a glance to see he was grinning at her. She gave him one back, letting her hand drift across Scribbs's golden fur, knowing she wouldn’t mind walking the puppy with him. No, as much as it was awkward and hard to be around him, she’d continue. She wouldn’t put up walls, or at least very high ones. She’d make it a point to be in his presence because she was a masochist, she really was. She adored him, she did, and she didn’t want to not be around him. Crichton was one of the few bright spots in her life here and she wouldn’t willingly throw that away, not over something awkward. She’d dealt with awkward with Sullivan, she could do it here, too.

She hoped. She really hoped.

Because if she didn’t know any better...she thought she may have fallen for him.

And _that_ , if it all got cocked up, could spell the end of everything if she wasn’t careful on keeping a tight lid on exactly how she felt, no matter how awkward it got.


End file.
